I am back from my one week vacation and it feels really great. The last couple of weeks I have been feeling very dispassionate about life. So a vacation was much needed. Its great to get out of the daily routine and go somewhere new.
When I got back home the apartment felt so inviting and lively even though no one occupied it for a week. Every item in our small place looked beautiful- there was a new light around the house that I haven’t seen before. Maybe it was there the entire time but I needed a new set of eyes to see them.
I am convinced that not having a job or some type of daily activity that takes up couple of hours out of my day is the reason for for unhappiness. It shocks me that I let myself go for the past couple of months without having a plan/goal/something I was committed to strongly…
I have always been a busy person. In college I was a full time student and also worked full time for a semester or two. Once I was out of college, and on to a full time position, I still kept my weekend job for over six months! I worked all seven days! I really felt that I got a lot done when I had less time to do it. Somehow when I had less time to waste time I became focused onto every task and very much organized about my day.
That was fine for being right out of college. However I think to be really successful in life and figure out what I want out of life now and in the future it is good to have all this time to ponder. Only until now I have been thinking it was a burden rather than a gift and have been treating it as such. How lucky I am to have so much time to expose myself to all the great things- duh!
For example most days I would wake up not very excited for the day because I didn’t have anything new/unique to do. Nothing to look forward to.
What a sad feeling because I’ll be the first to admit that I have such a great life- a truly blessed life in all aspects. Only now do I realize that there is so much to look forward to if I really wanted to and I have to be the one to drive it.
On my five day cruise this thought kept coming at me (how can I utilize all this time I have and be happy every day)and luckily I had a journal to write it all in while I looked out at the sea.
One theme that was prevalent in all the writing I did was I need to appreciate the small things everyday and be present.
From now on I am going to be posting everyday one thing (or a few if I am lucky) that was great about that particular day. If I remembered something from the past that was great I will also share that.
Good thing about libraries are the free books you can check out- even if I am not used to such a small quantity at libraries like my last visit. I did check a few books out and among them was The New York Times bestseller The Help by Kathryn Stockett.
With 3,113 reviews the book has more than a four star review so right when I got home I started reading. At page 105 so far so good. Its a very easy read and moving along at a good pace.
The book was so good I can’t put it down. I read it as I am preparing breakfast and sneaked a page here and there every second I can get. When I wasn’t reading the book I couldn’t help thinking about each of the characters and what will happen to them. Unlike other weekends where I would have endless things to say/discuss/ponder with my Hubby- this weekend however I apologized for not talking to him and being so engrossed in my book.
Monday 3 A.M.
Last page #464.
I wanted to write about my weekend but wanted to do it in a creative way. So I decided to do in the third person and write it like a small story. No laughs please!!
Here we go.
After the phone call came of a get together in Jersey, for the following Saturday, excitement and apprehension buzzed around the small apartment Jay and his wife, Karthi shared. They had traveled more than their share to Jersey but this was different- this will be a relaxed travel and a party waited them consisting of a small group of friends Jay has known for years. These friends have close connection to the first group of friends he met on his first days in the U.S. Now, most of the initial friends have moved out of the country, with marriage, work, and to escape the east coast life, but they did leave behind memories and friends that has kept them together. With these extended friends an update of a friend far far away is never out of reach.
The apprehension sits with Karthi who after marriage moved where Jay resided-loosing all her connections along the way. Now instead of knowing exactly who will be at a party and having more than enough stories to share, she finds herself not knowing what to expect. She made sure Jay called the day before the party to get the list of the attendees. She was relived to see among the party members, mostly male dominated, that there will be few women around her age attending.
(To be continued…)
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward.
Just like we went to a bar for the Superbowl and stayed from the beginning to the end of the game I am also seriously contemplating doing the same for the Oscars tomorrow! I really like Anne Hathaway so crossing my fingers she does an awesome job hosting!
I just don’t like that all the good awards are toward the very very end and the show usually runs very late. I have an eye on a bar a few doors (yes, you heard that right DOORS) down from our apartment so we can easily stay out late and come home quickly to snooze.
I also read somewhere that there might be a live streaming of the Oscars online which would be superb since we don’t have a TV at home- once I confirm this there will be an another option open on how to watch it.
I have only seen two of the movies nominated for the Oscars- True Grit and Inception. I am hoping to watch King’s Speech and Black Swan soon. Also want to watch Blue Valentine which stars Ryan Gosling (huge crush) and Michelle Williams (love her and she is nominated for an Oscar).
I am back from Toronto. Its funny how life is going so fast. As I drove into my cousin’s street I was reminded of all the summers I drove there when I was younger to visit families, attend weddings, and just simply to have fun. It was then with my parents, brother, and sister. Our van packed full of things from the states to Canada for our 18 hour drive and then even more things as we drove back home.
It felt strange driving toward my cousin’s house with my Hubby next to me…
Next it’ll be a few kids in the back seat…
and then the grand kids…
Now back in NYC- I have ordered this for our hallway.
I wanted a nice long table right when I get into the apartment….to drop off keys, cellphone, groceries…
Super excited for it to arrive.
I haven’t been feeling very well the last two weeks- first it started out physical then it became emotional. Physical was not nice but emotional was painful.
Bottom line was I was feeling blue…
I wasn’t very happy with where life was, I was feeling a lack of inspiration, bored, irritated, asking big life questions, and then feeling very guilty for feeling all this.
I beat myself over why I wasn’t feeling well, how could I not be appreciative for my life…
It was a vicious cycle.
I think there are some changes that need to be made. Find life’s spunk again and appreciate the small things.
I am so glad I am going on a small trip this weekend! It’ll be nice to have a change of scenery.
I am pretty good at giving second chances…whether is to people, foods, places…whatever. I might voice my opinion very strongly at the time but usually I will give second chance if it is reasonable. Sometimes giving “things” a second chance has been a good thing.
So, today after being out and about for several hours…I came home very tired. After drinking lots of water thinking that maybe that will help I decided to watch part of a movie. I wanted something very light so as I was browsing for a movie to fit my criteria- I just didn’t see anything that did.
Then I thought lets watch something I have already seen…as I was browsing the list of movies… I saw the movie Julie & Julia. If you don’t know about the movie Julie & Julia – here is a quickie “The film contrasts the life of chef Julia Child in the early years of her culinary career with the life of young New Yorker Julie Powell, who aspires to cook all 524 recipes in Child’s cookbook in 365 days, a challenge she described on her popular blog that would make her a published author.”
Here is the long version.
When I first watched it in the theaters I remembered that the story was cute and inspiring but not something I might want to watch again.
But today as I was watching Julie & Julia-I really enjoyed it. I don’t know if it was about a woman living in New York City, cooking in a small kitchen, making some delicious dishes, blogging, worrying about her career, wanting to be a writer… So many things that seemed to fit with me.
Here is a transcript from Julie’s blog describing a bit of Julia Child:
Julia Child began learning to cook when she was thirty-seven years
old. She started because she wanted to feed her husband Paul. She
started because though she’d fallen in love with great food late, when
she did she’d fallen hard. She started because she was in Paris. She
started because she didn’t know what else to do.
Who knows how it happens, how you come upon your essential gift? For
this was hers. Not the cooking itself so much – lots of people cook
better than Julia. Not even the recipes – others can write recipes.
What was Julia’s true gift, then? She certainly had enormous energy,
and that was a sort of gift, if a genetic one – perhaps the one thing
about her you can pin down on the luck of the draw. She was a great
teacher, certainly – funny, and generous, and enthusiastic, with so
much overbrimming confidence that she had nothing to do with the
surplus but start doling it out to others. But she also had a great
gift for learning. Perhaps that was the talent she discovered in
herself at the age of 37, at the Cordon Bleu School in Paris – the
thirst to keep finding out, the openness to experience that makes life
I loved this.
Now, I don’t know if I have more things in common with Julie or Julia!
Sometimes at different stages in life…you appreciate the things that you didn’t like before. Give things a second chance- they might surprise you.